March 2-3, 2024
Not all journeys are fun in the sun and long distances traveled. Sometimes, they are in your home state and long overdue. Sometimes, they aren’t for you; they are for someone you love. This journey is because an amazing friend has gone to be with Jesus, and his life deserves to be celebrated.
This impromptu journey leads me to the vibrant city of El Paso, Texas. A brief jaunt from the central part of Texas that I call home. A little over an hour from takeoff to touchdown on Southwest! El Paso is located in the very western tip of Texas on the Texas–Mexico border and close to Las Cruces, NM. El Paso is also home to Fort Bliss – a 1,700 square mile, US Army post that spans Texas and New Mexico and is home to the largest installation of FORSCOM (US Armed Forces Command). Fun fact: it is also the 22nd most populous city in the US. El Paso is a city that deserves more time than I am about to spend here; with such a rich collection of history and culture, I will be back!
DAY ONE - "Navigating Turbulence: A Last-Minute Departure and Unexpected Encounters"
As I leave my home, at God’s hour, I make quick haste of the 30-minute drive, as I was running late, and Southwest waits for no one. I might have a slightly lead foot and appreciated the low traffic morning. As I reached my terminal, I literally had 10 minutes to spare before boarding… Cutting it a wee bit too close this time for sure. I am still working on this particular New Year's resolution – eeeek!
The air travel portion was uneventful, just the way you want it to be, and upon touching down, I was ready for the day that was about to unfold; or so I thought. The rest of this story can be told in a tone of voice perfect for a conversation with your bestie, over drinks, while you laugh at just how stupid you are. Bring on the bubbly!
Once deboarded, I headed to the Budget rental counter to collect my reserved transportation and head out, in pursuit of the reason I was here. I waited in line, a little bit longer than I had anticipated, but long enough to listen to one of my favorite albums - Old Dominion’s Memory Lane. I am the traveler who is prepared, had my license out, and my confirmation number in my hands. I strutted up to the counter, ready to get a move on. As the clerk scanned my license, three times, I realized there must be a problem. He asked me if I had a valid driver’s license, as the one I handed him was expired. What? Expired!? How could it be expired? Fun Fact: I had a birthday already this year! Oh boy, how could I have forgotten to check for a valid ID? Well, I won’t go into all of the details of what this fabulous year of 2024 has brought to me, but needless to say it has been fiercely chaotic. I find joy and appreciation in the whirlwind of fast-paced days and unexpected twists—they certainly aren't boring!"
So there I am, adulting, trying to figure out my Plan B. The Celebration of Life for Douglas Cowan is in the quaint town of Fort Hancock, just outside El Paso. I decided to Uber $$$. Found a little man, let's call him “Charlie,” who was willing to haul me there. As Charlie pulls up to the airport, he is in the wrong lane for Ride-Share passengers. Instead of looping around the airport again, he proceeds to throw the red Cadillac in reverse. He then backs up over a curb and I see a huge dent in the passenger side of the car and the front bumper is in need of some realignment 😉. He gets out of the driver's seat, opens my door, and welcomes me with the biggest smile. Pops the trunk and goes to grab my roller bag. At this point, I have noticed that he is walking a little slow and hunched over. He tells me he had back surgery not too long ago. I know back pain and the last thing I would ever want is for someone to experience, not only the pain but the crippling effect it has on your ability to do anything yourself. I politely tell him, I have my bag and I proceed to put them in the trunk. I slide in the back seat and off we go. Realizing, I am still in my steadfast travel gear – yoga pants, oversized long sleeve t-shirt, and tennis shoes – I now need to figure out how I get to the hotel (that is un-booked – I know - eeeek) and change into something more reflective of my visit. The hotel is in Clint, Texas which thankfully is on the way to Fort Hancock. I concentrate on adding a stop on my Uber route. As I am starting to breathe and take a moment to just let the chaos go, I see a sign on Charlie’s dash that says “Smile, Jesus loves you!” Wow! What a poignant reminder. Charlie tells me a little bit about his life, how long he was in the hospital with his back surgery and how he takes care of his 91-year-old mother. As he shares his life, the joys, unexpected setback and moments he’s grateful for, he asks me what brought me to El Paso. I mentioned that I am here to celebrate the life of an amazing man! We smile, he says I am sorry for your loss and we spend the next 5 minutes in silence. Sometimes silence is good.
We pulled up to my hotel, in the middle of nowhere – Clint, Texas. Charlie is nice enough to wait for me. I need 10-20 minutes to sweet talk this clerk and change into my funeral attire. I approached the counter, flashed a sincere smile and said that I needed help, a big request. He didn’t think twice about getting me checked in at 9:00 in the morning! Wow! That was incredibly nice and so greatly needed. He said they are still serving breakfast if I was hungry. When was the last time I was up while they were still serving breakfast? Hmmm, so long ago that I don’t quite recall! I got settled in and quickly changed so Charlie wasn’t waiting long. As I passed the lobby, I thought, maybe Charlie is hungry and who knows when I will be eating… So I grabbed a few items and hopped in the car.
I am now thinking that my choice of items I grabbed may not have been the smartest. Charlie is driving with his knee and it was a pretty gusty day with a bunch of traffic. As the sound of knocking fills the air and the Cadillac continues to drive over the road bumps, Charlie asks if I can turn his breakfast into a taco. ABSOLUTELY! I would definitely prefer at least one hand on the wheel!! As we finally start cruising safely, we are about 20 minutes outside Ft Hancock, Texas, and the Uber maps start giving us problems. It was then that I panicked as I realized the address is all wrong. How did I input the wrong address? I triple-checked it! I tried to enter the right address and Uber couldn’t find it. After doing a few loops and U-turns, I pulled out the trusty Google maps! We were only about 2 miles away. Off we go! I catch a glimpse of my face in the rearview and realize I haven’t even done my makeup. So, I quickly layer some on, knowing it will all be one in about 5 minutes, once I see Jaim’s face, but I also need to show up presentable. Our final .50 mile was down a dirt road. Dirt roads are the best! As Charlie is hauling-ass down this dirt road, with dust signaling our arrival, a wave of embarrassment covers me… I don’t have the heart to tell Charlie to slow down; that dirt roads are for driving slow and poking along. We are in the country with the cows, horses, dogs, and all the things that demand a slow poke. Luckily, as I am about to ask, he swings in and says thank you for the visit and chat. I get out of the car, with my head held a little low and feeling the need to apologize for the lack of speed control.
Jamie’s dad comes over introduces himself and takes me straight to Jaim. It has been a very long time since I have seen her beautiful, precious face. She looks the very same as she did 6 years ago! We embrace and cry. I cannot imagine what she is going through; I just know that I want to be able to give her the gift of my quiet strength and surround her in love. As that is all I can do. All the tough work is something only she can do. It's continuous conversations between her and God. A God that is so merciful and protective, though sometimes very hard to see when such unimaginable pain is involved. Sadly, I know this pain all too well.
As I walk outside to help with a few finishing touches, Jaim brings out Ice. Their Rhodesian Ridgeback. Jamie, Doug, and I shared a love of large dogs! They have Rhodesian Ridgebacks and I have Great Danes. When she would come to visit and stay, her babies came with her. I loved her Rhodesians, though I had never met Ice. There is nothing quite like looking into the eyes of such a commandeering male. He was stoic as if he were holding Jaim up today. He was quiet as he knew the job he had to do and wanted to make his daddy proud. It was all on him now. What an amazing little man. Jamie will be fiercely and lovingly protected!
I said in the beginning that this trip was long overdue. It was, but not for the reason I am here now. One of my dearest friends Jamie, whom I lovingly call Jaim, has been a dear friend since we met almost 20 years ago. She laughs at me, she celebrates with me, and she was there for me when my person (my grandmother) left to be with Jesus. Not only is she an amazing friend but her husband Douglas, who I lovingly nicknamed DB, is just as special. DB and I could chat about everything from electronics and TV shows to law and politics. They are godparents to my son and just two wholly amazing people. Doug’s life here with us was way too short, and I would have loved to hear him laugh one more time, to have one more conversation about things that make you laugh. He is in the place he is meant to be in, but so dearly missed!
Celebrating the life of a friend you admired and loved is hard, though it was great to see all the lives he touched, the stories told that made us laugh and knowing that his legacy will live on through those who hold him so deeply. The life of a truly amazing man and the obituary of Douglas Cowan can be read here. We hugged and kissed goodbye, had a few laughs, and an old friend drove me back to my hotel. As I am now fretting about returning home and whether or not I am going to be allowed to board with a newly expired driver’s license, I am figuring out all my plans, A-Z are in full effect. I am working on my best hitchhiker stance, thumb out with a smile… just in case! I have thought about Ubering all the way home (ridiculous, I know). Those are just a few of the things I had thought about as I adult. What I finally settled on was ME. I am going to flash the TSA agent a smile and hope that I can make my case, since I just flew into El Paso and had come from elsewhere, on a plane – no less. That's it! It all depends on my ability to be a people person. It's 7:00, and I crawl into bed, emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted from the last 24 hours. I am getting up early and will be at the airport to plead my case! Before I doze off, I schedule my Uber pick up so nothing is left up to chance, especially with the way my journey had been going.
DAY TWO - "Embracing New Horizons: Rehearsed Stories and Dawn of Hope"
A new day dawns, my eyes open, and I am ready to be home and am grateful for a new opportunity for life. I am ready to see my kiddo, relax, and just be back home. I am up, packed, and am getting ready. Setting a new record for myself—30 minutes to get ready. I grab some OJ, as my allergies are getting the best of me, and hop in my Uber ride. En route to the airport, I rehearse my story—it's honest and factual, but I admit I'm not the best at answering questions on the spot.. So I rehearse. We pull up to the SW sign, and out I hop ready to see what my fate is. I’ve got my license out, my boarding pass, and a smile. I AM READY! I hand everything to the TSA agent, and he says – “have a nice trip!” What?!? That’s it?!? My smile must have worked! Since I am here at the airport with practically two hours to kill – a new record for me, I decided to grab a cup of coffee and wait.
My old friend, Shawn, who saved me some major dollars and had driven me to my hotel the previous day, had just arrived. Apparently, she and I had the same arriving and departing flights. What a small world. We decided to grab brunch and catch up. The flight back to central Texas was quick and easy as I departed, eager to get home, I started to think about what I would write. This trip isn’t what most people want to read about, but maybe it touches someone who had or has a similar experience. One valuable lesson from my Google search—yes, you can fly with an expired driver’s license, as long as it's within a year!
Fun Fact: TSA does allow you to travel with an expired license, provided it’s been within a year, though a rental car company does not allow you to rent a car with an expired license.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV): "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
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